Are attachment disorders in childhood linked with Personality disorders later on in life?
Yes, attachment disorders are linked with personality disorders.
Here is why.
Positive attachment leads to healthy relationships with peers and adults, healthy curiosity and learning and healthy self-confidence and self-esteem. Positive attachment forms the core of healthy personalities.
Severe attachment disorders in early childhood definately lead to the most serious personality disorders. Yes, weak and broken attachment forms the foundation of later personality disorders. Here are some observations about attachment disorder:
1. It is the common factor among personality disorders.
2. It leads to weak emotional intelligence which manifests as weak or absent empathy.
3. It will be associated with frequent breakdown of relationships, loss of employment, marriage breakup.
4. It is associated with weak or poor bonding in adult relationships. It will result in an ‘orphan spirit’ which finds it easy to detach from a love relationship and move on.
5. It is associated with an ‘hole in the bucket’ when it comes to receiving love and nurture. The person feels like they are not loved. Their parents or spouse feels like they are an empty bucket.
6. It weakens the ability to have self-control of emotions which is demonstrated most dramatically in the Borderline personality.
7. It results in the inability to develop a mature conscience, for the mature conscience requires empathy at its heart.
8. It results in social behaviour that is emotionally immature for their age. They are much younger emotionally than their age and may act as if they have a love addiction.
9. They feel distant from others as if a glass wall of separation was in place.
10. They may also have a feeling of emptiness inside - a sense that something is missing.
Yes, attachment disorders are linked with personality disorders.
Here is why.
Positive attachment leads to healthy relationships with peers and adults, healthy curiosity and learning and healthy self-confidence and self-esteem. Positive attachment forms the core of healthy personalities.
Severe attachment disorders in early childhood definately lead to the most serious personality disorders. Yes, weak and broken attachment forms the foundation of later personality disorders. Here are some observations about attachment disorder:
1. It is the common factor among personality disorders.
2. It leads to weak emotional intelligence which manifests as weak or absent empathy.
3. It will be associated with frequent breakdown of relationships, loss of employment, marriage breakup.
4. It is associated with weak or poor bonding in adult relationships. It will result in an ‘orphan spirit’ which finds it easy to detach from a love relationship and move on.
5. It is associated with an ‘hole in the bucket’ when it comes to receiving love and nurture. The person feels like they are not loved. Their parents or spouse feels like they are an empty bucket.
6. It weakens the ability to have self-control of emotions which is demonstrated most dramatically in the Borderline personality.
7. It results in the inability to develop a mature conscience, for the mature conscience requires empathy at its heart.
8. It results in social behaviour that is emotionally immature for their age. They are much younger emotionally than their age and may act as if they have a love addiction.
9. They feel distant from others as if a glass wall of separation was in place.
10. They may also have a feeling of emptiness inside - a sense that something is missing.
Are attachment disorders in childhood linked with Marriage Difficulties later on in life?
Yes, attachment within the first few years of life is a good predictor of the quality of social relationships in the next few years right up until it is time for committed adult love relationships. The better the bonding with one or both parents the happier the child, the more social outgoing and mature they are, the more eager to learn and the more liked they are by peers.
The primary emotional goal of marriage is to establish a lasting love relationship that feels safe and secure and which becomes a home base for each partner's growth, education, play and work. It provides support through the trials of life and raising a family. It creates security for the woman to support her in the process of childbirth and parenting. The love bond in marriage is so significant that a spouse panics when their partner is too distant and fails to signal their loving presence. It feels like a life and death issue emotionally.
When attachment experiences have not built deep trust in love relationships, one enters marriage with insecurity, suspicion, caution. One participates watchful for rejection, unfaithfulness and distancing.
One can be so cautious as to avoid any activity that leads to bonding within the marriage - the Avoidant Personality does this.
One can be so cautious and angry at love partners that one attacks them whenever you get a hint of rejection - and you are overly vigilant in your awareness of any possible rejection. So you may attack first. If you attack with wild rages that is typical of the Borderline Personality. If you attack very systematically to to undermine your partner then you acting something like a Psychopath.
The Narcissist does not so much attack as just establishing every interaction with a sense of being superior to the other and worthy of all the attention, reward etc. If there are complaints the Narcissist is convinced it is in the partner - the 'Not-OK' one is the other.
Yes, attachment within the first few years of life is a good predictor of the quality of social relationships in the next few years right up until it is time for committed adult love relationships. The better the bonding with one or both parents the happier the child, the more social outgoing and mature they are, the more eager to learn and the more liked they are by peers.
The primary emotional goal of marriage is to establish a lasting love relationship that feels safe and secure and which becomes a home base for each partner's growth, education, play and work. It provides support through the trials of life and raising a family. It creates security for the woman to support her in the process of childbirth and parenting. The love bond in marriage is so significant that a spouse panics when their partner is too distant and fails to signal their loving presence. It feels like a life and death issue emotionally.
When attachment experiences have not built deep trust in love relationships, one enters marriage with insecurity, suspicion, caution. One participates watchful for rejection, unfaithfulness and distancing.
One can be so cautious as to avoid any activity that leads to bonding within the marriage - the Avoidant Personality does this.
One can be so cautious and angry at love partners that one attacks them whenever you get a hint of rejection - and you are overly vigilant in your awareness of any possible rejection. So you may attack first. If you attack with wild rages that is typical of the Borderline Personality. If you attack very systematically to to undermine your partner then you acting something like a Psychopath.
The Narcissist does not so much attack as just establishing every interaction with a sense of being superior to the other and worthy of all the attention, reward etc. If there are complaints the Narcissist is convinced it is in the partner - the 'Not-OK' one is the other.
Attachment Disorders and the Borderline Personality
You do not need to know about the Borderline Personality unless there is one in your immediate family or workplace and, then, some understanding is very helpful.
When I think of the Borderline Personality, I think of someone who is often out of control - especially in rages - and is often destroying the relationships around them.
Inside the Borderline is a person (an inner Child) who does not feel secure in emotional/social relationships and does not have a lot of control over their own behaviour. Emotions are expressed rather than contained.
The borderline personality does not seem to have:
The Borderline Personality is very insecure around issues of rejection and abandonment. When these issues get triggered, they may often get expressed in anger, rages, impulsive behaviour and abandonment of loved ones ( marital partners, family, etc.)
The reason, from the point of view of my Biblical model of the person, is a crippled emotional core which is the human spirit. The human spirit has not grown out of early childhood due to a collapse of bonding to and attachment with the parents. The capacity to bond is broken and, as a result, the ability to feel, receive and maintain the feeling of being loved, is also broken. As a result the spirit is not nurtured and emotional maturity fails to arrive.
So attachment failure results in a Borderline Personality and the borderline is one example of an attachment disorder. It may be difficult for the Borderline to benefit from therapy or to sustain a therapeutic relationship. Spouse and family should get counselling support because of the pain and confusion created by the Borderline Personality.
Resources: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder Paperback – Dec 15 2009, by Paul Mason MS (Author), Randi Kreger (Author).
When I think of the Borderline Personality, I think of someone who is often out of control - especially in rages - and is often destroying the relationships around them.
Inside the Borderline is a person (an inner Child) who does not feel secure in emotional/social relationships and does not have a lot of control over their own behaviour. Emotions are expressed rather than contained.
The borderline personality does not seem to have:
- a mature conscience,
- good self-control,
- much capacity for bonding, or
- empathy for others.
The Borderline Personality is very insecure around issues of rejection and abandonment. When these issues get triggered, they may often get expressed in anger, rages, impulsive behaviour and abandonment of loved ones ( marital partners, family, etc.)
The reason, from the point of view of my Biblical model of the person, is a crippled emotional core which is the human spirit. The human spirit has not grown out of early childhood due to a collapse of bonding to and attachment with the parents. The capacity to bond is broken and, as a result, the ability to feel, receive and maintain the feeling of being loved, is also broken. As a result the spirit is not nurtured and emotional maturity fails to arrive.
So attachment failure results in a Borderline Personality and the borderline is one example of an attachment disorder. It may be difficult for the Borderline to benefit from therapy or to sustain a therapeutic relationship. Spouse and family should get counselling support because of the pain and confusion created by the Borderline Personality.
Resources: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder Paperback – Dec 15 2009, by Paul Mason MS (Author), Randi Kreger (Author).