.1. Psychotherapy and the Avoidant Personality
Your hopes to be married, to overcome loneliness and have a life-long love partner may have been sabotaged by a hidden obstacle to happiness - The Avoidant Personality In spite of our best Intentions, full commitment and dedicated efforts, the avoidant pattern can be sinking your hopes for happiness. You have been left confused, depressed and frustrated. Read more ...
2. Depression and Psychotherapy.
Your ability to enjoy life, have energy to do things, feel more in charge of your own life is gone and instead you have depression. This depression seems to rob you of the best things in life. We are here to help and we start by offering you some self-help things you can do that help with depression. Help for depression ...
3. Psychotherapy / Therapy for Anxiety
Anxiety is emotional pain - a signal that something is wrong, a warning that something bad could happen. Being warned of danger can be helpful. Being overwhelmed with warnings is not helpful. We are here to help you to turn off this overwhelming sense of danger even undefined dangers. Lets talk about what can be done to deal with anxiety. Therapy for anxiety more ...
4. Psychotherapy for Codependency / help for the Codependent
You are a person who loves caring for others, whose mission in life is to help. You are a good and responsible person. The problems you may have found include: some kind of burn-out, self-criticism, depression, and boundary issues. All this is confusing and discouraging and you would like some clarification and guidance. Yes, there is help for the Codependent ...
Your hopes to be married, to overcome loneliness and have a life-long love partner may have been sabotaged by a hidden obstacle to happiness - The Avoidant Personality In spite of our best Intentions, full commitment and dedicated efforts, the avoidant pattern can be sinking your hopes for happiness. You have been left confused, depressed and frustrated. Read more ...
2. Depression and Psychotherapy.
Your ability to enjoy life, have energy to do things, feel more in charge of your own life is gone and instead you have depression. This depression seems to rob you of the best things in life. We are here to help and we start by offering you some self-help things you can do that help with depression. Help for depression ...
3. Psychotherapy / Therapy for Anxiety
Anxiety is emotional pain - a signal that something is wrong, a warning that something bad could happen. Being warned of danger can be helpful. Being overwhelmed with warnings is not helpful. We are here to help you to turn off this overwhelming sense of danger even undefined dangers. Lets talk about what can be done to deal with anxiety. Therapy for anxiety more ...
4. Psychotherapy for Codependency / help for the Codependent
You are a person who loves caring for others, whose mission in life is to help. You are a good and responsible person. The problems you may have found include: some kind of burn-out, self-criticism, depression, and boundary issues. All this is confusing and discouraging and you would like some clarification and guidance. Yes, there is help for the Codependent ...
A question about Borderline and an antisocial personality disorder
Is there a relation between antisocial personality disorder and borderline personality disorder? What are the main differences/similarities?
The similarity between borderline and antisocial is an immature social/emotional core. At the heart of both is emotional immaturity. Their emotional intelligence is well below normal. On empathy and understanding of others below normal.
This means both have been through or have an attachment disorder. They have not experienced healthy love of mother or father; did not develop healthy attachment/bonding with mother or father or caretaker and that has deeply skewed their emotional development.
The way this shows up in the borderline is in rage. In general emotions take over and get out of control. It also shows up in sensitivity around rejection issues. There are deep inner wounds around love and bonding that will always be there and effect their emotional and social adjustment.
In the same way the attachment issues show up as social/emotional immaturity. They see and react to situations as if they were a little child. That is because they are a little child inside, in their core.
While the Avoidant Personality is all about staying hidden and creating illusions and appearances to keep them hidden the borderline does not care. The borderline extraverts their feelings and expresses them outwardly but from the position of this angry little child.
The antisocial also is skilled at appearances and at hiding feelings. The antisocial may be just doing their best to get along and get their needs met. They have more ability to control their outward expression. They are more in control of their emotions. However, in the core, there is also a very immature child.
We know the antisocial is capable of great cruelty and hateful activity. It is almost like they need to get revenge even before you hurt them. When the antisocial is going after you, they will do everything in their power to destroy you. They are ruthless without clear awareness that their actions are so hateful and immoral and even self-destructive.
The borderline expresses their inner feelings without inner self-control. They destroy relationships and wreck havoc in their own and other’s lives but not with the ruthless intent of the antisocial personality.
Is there a relation between antisocial personality disorder and borderline personality disorder? What are the main differences/similarities?
The similarity between borderline and antisocial is an immature social/emotional core. At the heart of both is emotional immaturity. Their emotional intelligence is well below normal. On empathy and understanding of others below normal.
This means both have been through or have an attachment disorder. They have not experienced healthy love of mother or father; did not develop healthy attachment/bonding with mother or father or caretaker and that has deeply skewed their emotional development.
The way this shows up in the borderline is in rage. In general emotions take over and get out of control. It also shows up in sensitivity around rejection issues. There are deep inner wounds around love and bonding that will always be there and effect their emotional and social adjustment.
In the same way the attachment issues show up as social/emotional immaturity. They see and react to situations as if they were a little child. That is because they are a little child inside, in their core.
While the Avoidant Personality is all about staying hidden and creating illusions and appearances to keep them hidden the borderline does not care. The borderline extraverts their feelings and expresses them outwardly but from the position of this angry little child.
The antisocial also is skilled at appearances and at hiding feelings. The antisocial may be just doing their best to get along and get their needs met. They have more ability to control their outward expression. They are more in control of their emotions. However, in the core, there is also a very immature child.
We know the antisocial is capable of great cruelty and hateful activity. It is almost like they need to get revenge even before you hurt them. When the antisocial is going after you, they will do everything in their power to destroy you. They are ruthless without clear awareness that their actions are so hateful and immoral and even self-destructive.
The borderline expresses their inner feelings without inner self-control. They destroy relationships and wreck havoc in their own and other’s lives but not with the ruthless intent of the antisocial personality.
A question about bipolar disorder and Psychopathy
Is there a relationship between bipolar disorder and psychopathy?
When I look at the two personalities I do not find an essential similarity. You have to understand that at the core of the human person is Our Intuitive and empathic capacity - something like what the Bible might call the human spirit. Other cultures have different words for the ‘breath of God’ within us.
You need to understand that what happens to a child’s spirit makes a big difference in their adult personality and social relationships. If mother-child bonding is high quality then the child will grow strong in their spiritSuch a child will mature emotionally as they grow up. Within the adult years the adolescent develops a mind of their own and, at the same time, the capacity to understand adult humour and have empathic feelings for other people.
For the personality disorders the development of bonding fails, the human spirit stays weak, social-emotional maturity remains immature and the outcome is personalities like the psychopath or borderline.
The bipolar does not necessarily have failure of bonding and the resultant extreme immature core. As a result the behaviour that is typical of the psychopath is not typical of the bipolar personality.
In my intuitive psychology, the bipolar is often a responsible caretaker type person who is often quite caring of others. This means there is an essential stability and good or social aspect to the bipolar. I see no similarity between this and the psychopath with the inner weak emotional core, often antisocial behaviour and no essential commitment to be good.
Is there a relationship between bipolar disorder and psychopathy?
When I look at the two personalities I do not find an essential similarity. You have to understand that at the core of the human person is Our Intuitive and empathic capacity - something like what the Bible might call the human spirit. Other cultures have different words for the ‘breath of God’ within us.
You need to understand that what happens to a child’s spirit makes a big difference in their adult personality and social relationships. If mother-child bonding is high quality then the child will grow strong in their spiritSuch a child will mature emotionally as they grow up. Within the adult years the adolescent develops a mind of their own and, at the same time, the capacity to understand adult humour and have empathic feelings for other people.
For the personality disorders the development of bonding fails, the human spirit stays weak, social-emotional maturity remains immature and the outcome is personalities like the psychopath or borderline.
The bipolar does not necessarily have failure of bonding and the resultant extreme immature core. As a result the behaviour that is typical of the psychopath is not typical of the bipolar personality.
In my intuitive psychology, the bipolar is often a responsible caretaker type person who is often quite caring of others. This means there is an essential stability and good or social aspect to the bipolar. I see no similarity between this and the psychopath with the inner weak emotional core, often antisocial behaviour and no essential commitment to be good.
A question about borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder
What is the difference between borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder?
I would be glad to answer, however, based on my observations and NOT on diagnostic manuals. I do not have authority to make diagnosis.
When you think of Borderline think of someone who is often out of control and often destroying the relationships around them.
Inside the Borderline is a person who does not feel secure in emotional/social relationships and does not have a lot of control over their own behaviour.
Borderline does not seem to have a mature conscience, good self-control, little capacity for bonding, minimal empathy and is very insecure around issues of rejection and abandonment. This often gets expressed in anger, rages and impulsive behaviour and abandonment of loved ones, marital partners, family, etc.
The reason, from the point of view of my Biblical model of the person, is a crippled emotional core which is the human spirit. The human spirit has not grown out of early childhood due to a collapse of bonding and attachment to the parents. The capacity to bond is broken and the ability to feel, receive and maintain the feeling of being loved is also broken. As a result the spirit is not nurtured and emotional maturity fails to arrive.
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The bipolar person is usually depressed and sometimes in a manic state. Think of Eric Berne's theory of Parent, Adult and Child ego states. The inner Parent is enhanced to take care of others and directed internally at suppressing the inner Child. The person acts responsible - takes care of others and keep family and organization together.
The fatal flaw is lack of self-care. The inner Child is kept down, kept silent and sent shaming messages. I call this internal child abuse. This inner child is depressed and suppressed, except when it runs away from it all and has fun. This is like a prison breakout. The child runs away from the abuse and control and goes into rebellion.
'Manic' is the Child's escaped state where the child is expressive, energetic, creative, spiritual, loving, impulsive and definately NOT responsible, much to everyone's disappointment. So child gets shut down and pushed back into his or her cage. The child gets 'cured' by being put back into the depressed state. That is the circus as I see it.
What is the difference between borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder?
I would be glad to answer, however, based on my observations and NOT on diagnostic manuals. I do not have authority to make diagnosis.
When you think of Borderline think of someone who is often out of control and often destroying the relationships around them.
Inside the Borderline is a person who does not feel secure in emotional/social relationships and does not have a lot of control over their own behaviour.
Borderline does not seem to have a mature conscience, good self-control, little capacity for bonding, minimal empathy and is very insecure around issues of rejection and abandonment. This often gets expressed in anger, rages and impulsive behaviour and abandonment of loved ones, marital partners, family, etc.
The reason, from the point of view of my Biblical model of the person, is a crippled emotional core which is the human spirit. The human spirit has not grown out of early childhood due to a collapse of bonding and attachment to the parents. The capacity to bond is broken and the ability to feel, receive and maintain the feeling of being loved is also broken. As a result the spirit is not nurtured and emotional maturity fails to arrive.
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The bipolar person is usually depressed and sometimes in a manic state. Think of Eric Berne's theory of Parent, Adult and Child ego states. The inner Parent is enhanced to take care of others and directed internally at suppressing the inner Child. The person acts responsible - takes care of others and keep family and organization together.
The fatal flaw is lack of self-care. The inner Child is kept down, kept silent and sent shaming messages. I call this internal child abuse. This inner child is depressed and suppressed, except when it runs away from it all and has fun. This is like a prison breakout. The child runs away from the abuse and control and goes into rebellion.
'Manic' is the Child's escaped state where the child is expressive, energetic, creative, spiritual, loving, impulsive and definately NOT responsible, much to everyone's disappointment. So child gets shut down and pushed back into his or her cage. The child gets 'cured' by being put back into the depressed state. That is the circus as I see it.
How can psychopaths be bipolar when psychopaths can’t feel emotions and a rapid cycling mood and emotions is basically what bipolar disorder is?
Both of your assumptions are not true. Bipolar is not rapid cycling mood. Psychopaths do have feelings.
What psychopaths lack is a strong sense of empathy that guides their social behaviour. they still have feelings.
Bipolar is not cycling moods or feelings. It is actually changing ego states.
We have three primary ego states: Parent, Adult and Child.
In my theory of bipolar the manic state, when there is lots of energy, little sleep, creativity, impulsivity, and less socially responsible behaviour, is the free Child state.
In the depressed phase the Child is not free but kept under control by a variety of inner rules such as: ‘Don’t be selfish,’ “Don’t rock the boat,’Don’t express your needs.’
The voice behind these rules is the inner Parent. That inner Parent sounds like a very controlling judge, an abusive tyrant.
When the Inner Critic (Judge, Tyrant) is in control these rules are enforced on the Inner Child. The Inner Child is kept suppressed. The person does not look after their own needs. (Similar to codependent.)
When the Inner Child breaks away from this control and abuse, it can just be wild.
So can a Psychopath be bipolar? I see it as a very unlikely possibility. The psychopaths adjustment to early family life is very different from that of the bipolar in my scenario.
Question: How do you define codependent?