The bipolar person is usually depressed and sometimes in a manic state. I like to think of Eric Berne's theory of Parent, Adult and Child ego states. The Inner Parent is enhanced to take care of other people, but also directed internally at the Inner Child so as to suppress and keep down the demands of the Inner Child. The person acts responsible - takes care of others and keep family and organization together. They are seen as serious, caring and responsible people. Other can count on them and often do.
The fatal flaw is lack of self-care. The Inner Child is being kept down, kept silent by shaming messages from the Inner Parent. I call this internal child abuse. This inner child is depressed and suppressed, except when it runs away from it all and has fun. This is like a prison breakout. The child runs away from the abuse and control and goes into rebellion.
In the escaped state the child is expressive, energetic, creative, spiritual, loving, impulsive and definately NOT responsible, much to everyone's disappointment. Soon the Inner Child will run down and get shut down and pushed back into his or her cage. The Inner Child gets 'cured' by being put back into the depressed state.
The goals of therapy would be:
1. Shut down the internal child abuse from the Critical Parent.
2. Reconcile Inner Parent and Inner Child.
3. Develop boundaries around over-investing in working for others.
4. Develop the Inner Child's talents and allow and encourage self-expression.
5. Develop a life-style in which one's own needs are met including having fun and recreation.
The fatal flaw is lack of self-care. The Inner Child is being kept down, kept silent by shaming messages from the Inner Parent. I call this internal child abuse. This inner child is depressed and suppressed, except when it runs away from it all and has fun. This is like a prison breakout. The child runs away from the abuse and control and goes into rebellion.
In the escaped state the child is expressive, energetic, creative, spiritual, loving, impulsive and definately NOT responsible, much to everyone's disappointment. Soon the Inner Child will run down and get shut down and pushed back into his or her cage. The Inner Child gets 'cured' by being put back into the depressed state.
The goals of therapy would be:
1. Shut down the internal child abuse from the Critical Parent.
2. Reconcile Inner Parent and Inner Child.
3. Develop boundaries around over-investing in working for others.
4. Develop the Inner Child's talents and allow and encourage self-expression.
5. Develop a life-style in which one's own needs are met including having fun and recreation.
I focus on bipolar as a personality distortion, rather than a disease. Bipolar as a personality distortion provides hope for change. Every personality can go through metamorphosis. A caterpillar changes into a butterfly. Such transformations are possible in people too!
Here is my perspective.
In bipolar there is a struggle between two of the parts of the personality - a Critical Parent and a suppressed Inner Child. This antagonism was established in the kind of childhood that gives rise to the Inverted Parent - the child who takes on too much responsibility for parent roles while still in childhood.
The small child living in a disrupted family can develop the pattern of the inverted parent that I call ‘Super Responsible.’ It is a common outcome of parents fighting or parents drunk and disorderly or other parent failures to provide a secure home for the child.
There are many things done by psychotherapists to help shift such patterns. If my model of bipolar is correct then a shift out the this personality distortion would go a long ways to relieve the ‘mood disorder.’
For self-help measures the person needs to be able to pull back from being ‘Caretaker of the World’ and set some boundaries on always helping other.
The other self-help measure is to provide fun, recreation, play, creativity and art to the creative inner child. Make of list of things you can do each week to improve self-care.
A third measure is to begin to observe, even journal, the negative or controlling thoughts you have toward yourself. The idea is to become aware of your Inner Critic.
Shifting one's life personality pattern takes a lot of heavy lifting and it is likely that you will want professional guidance or therapy from an experienced psychotherapist who can provide help with bipolar pattern shift.
Here is my perspective.
In bipolar there is a struggle between two of the parts of the personality - a Critical Parent and a suppressed Inner Child. This antagonism was established in the kind of childhood that gives rise to the Inverted Parent - the child who takes on too much responsibility for parent roles while still in childhood.
The small child living in a disrupted family can develop the pattern of the inverted parent that I call ‘Super Responsible.’ It is a common outcome of parents fighting or parents drunk and disorderly or other parent failures to provide a secure home for the child.
There are many things done by psychotherapists to help shift such patterns. If my model of bipolar is correct then a shift out the this personality distortion would go a long ways to relieve the ‘mood disorder.’
For self-help measures the person needs to be able to pull back from being ‘Caretaker of the World’ and set some boundaries on always helping other.
The other self-help measure is to provide fun, recreation, play, creativity and art to the creative inner child. Make of list of things you can do each week to improve self-care.
A third measure is to begin to observe, even journal, the negative or controlling thoughts you have toward yourself. The idea is to become aware of your Inner Critic.
Shifting one's life personality pattern takes a lot of heavy lifting and it is likely that you will want professional guidance or therapy from an experienced psychotherapist who can provide help with bipolar pattern shift.
How do people with bipolar disorder think?
The truth is that people with bipolar think like other people think. Because they are people first. Most of the time they will appear and think normal. There thinking changes during the Manic phase. There mood, energy, interests, changes drastically at those times.
The majority of the time they are not only normal they can be very responsible people.
There is a rebound for anyone that suppresses their inner child in order to focus on care of others. Then there are times when their inner child will break out. What happens at those times will vary greatly depending on the person. At this time thinking is not responsible and focused on others. they are very self-focused.
The most mature person has integrated the playfulness, creativity and intuition of their inner child into their personality. The Bipolar has not done that. The inner Child emerges as if it was a whole new personality. In this so-called ‘manic state’ their inner child takes over completely for a while.
At this point they they think like a playful, energetic child that just escaped from prison and has to make up for a life a drudgery by having some kind of blast. At this point you may find them a little hard to reason with because they are having too much fun!
See other posts of mine to fill in more of my theory of the bipolar personality. Here is a summary: I believe that there are personality dynamics and family history patterns involved in creating the personality pattern that creates the behaviours that result in the label/diagnosis of bipolar.
In my thesis, hypothesis if you will, much bipolar is manifested in a personality pattern of a very responsible person - similar to what we call a codependent. The family background had some breakdown in the parenting system and the child got drawn into taking on some sense of responsibility for keeping family systems peaceful, without conflict, orderly. They do that by taking care of people and generally do so very well.
The weak point is lack of self-care. In fact these people are very critical of their inner child and do not allow their playful side to appear. They are seen as too serious as adults and like little adults when in childhood.
The pattern is not going to respond to self-change because it involves the dynamics of the whole personality. Healing involves restructuring the way the whole personality works.
The truth is that people with bipolar think like other people think. Because they are people first. Most of the time they will appear and think normal. There thinking changes during the Manic phase. There mood, energy, interests, changes drastically at those times.
The majority of the time they are not only normal they can be very responsible people.
There is a rebound for anyone that suppresses their inner child in order to focus on care of others. Then there are times when their inner child will break out. What happens at those times will vary greatly depending on the person. At this time thinking is not responsible and focused on others. they are very self-focused.
The most mature person has integrated the playfulness, creativity and intuition of their inner child into their personality. The Bipolar has not done that. The inner Child emerges as if it was a whole new personality. In this so-called ‘manic state’ their inner child takes over completely for a while.
At this point they they think like a playful, energetic child that just escaped from prison and has to make up for a life a drudgery by having some kind of blast. At this point you may find them a little hard to reason with because they are having too much fun!
See other posts of mine to fill in more of my theory of the bipolar personality. Here is a summary: I believe that there are personality dynamics and family history patterns involved in creating the personality pattern that creates the behaviours that result in the label/diagnosis of bipolar.
In my thesis, hypothesis if you will, much bipolar is manifested in a personality pattern of a very responsible person - similar to what we call a codependent. The family background had some breakdown in the parenting system and the child got drawn into taking on some sense of responsibility for keeping family systems peaceful, without conflict, orderly. They do that by taking care of people and generally do so very well.
The weak point is lack of self-care. In fact these people are very critical of their inner child and do not allow their playful side to appear. They are seen as too serious as adults and like little adults when in childhood.
The pattern is not going to respond to self-change because it involves the dynamics of the whole personality. Healing involves restructuring the way the whole personality works.
What are the common personality traits of the Bipolar Disorder?
I focus on bipolar as a personality distortion, rather than a disease. As a personality distortion there is hope. Every personality can go through metamorphosis. A caterpillar changes into a butterfly. Such miracles are possible in people too!
In bipolar there is a struggle between two of the parts of the personality - a Critical Parent and a suppressed Child. This antagonism was established in the kind of childhood that gives rise to the Inverted Parent - the child who takes on too much responsibility for parent roles while still in childhood.
The small child living in a disrupted family can develop the pattern of the inverted parent of ‘Super Responsible.’ It is a common outcome of parents fighting or parents drunk and disorderly or other parent failures to provide a secure home for the child.
The person who has experienced family disruption - and there are many forms of this - may intuitively take on the role of trying to fix or stabilize the family system. As they step into this role the mechanism for suppressing the inner Child is set up so they can focus on the task. Suppressing the Child translates as depression. If the Child breaks out of the suppression we have the free child which is the manic state. When the free child returns to submission, to the inner forces of suppression, we have the return of depression state.
By taking on the role of one who rescues the family from chaos, the child may be taking on a life mission to save people. To be the rescuer. For example, this manifests as the codependent to the alcoholic who tries to rescue him from the problems of his life.
In this model the bipolars will live with an Inner judge - an overwhelming amount of self-criticism. This Critical Parent rejects childish behaviour of the inner child. It is critical of spontaneity, playfulness, relaxing and humour.
Because the Inner Parent rejects their Inner Child and playfulness, many people will find them too serious. Also when they are young children they may seem like little adults.
This personality is great a taking responsibility and lacks boundaries around responsibility. Therefore, they tend to do too much and do other people’s jobs. Unconsciously they may signal to others ‘you can’t be trusted to do your part.’
There are many things done by psychotherapists to help shift such patterns. In my model of bipolar, a shift out the this personality distortion would go a long ways to relieve the ‘mood disorder.’ One goal is to moderate the critical voice of the inner judge. Another goal is to free up the inner child. One must learn it is okay to do self-care.
For self-help measures the person can stop or pull back from being ‘Caretaker of the World’ and set some boundaries on always being there to help others. If married to an alcoholic then AlAnon will help with some boundaries.
The other self-help measure is to provide fun, recreation, play, creativity and art to the creative inner child. Make of list of things you can do each week to improve self-care.
I focus on bipolar as a personality distortion, rather than a disease. As a personality distortion there is hope. Every personality can go through metamorphosis. A caterpillar changes into a butterfly. Such miracles are possible in people too!
In bipolar there is a struggle between two of the parts of the personality - a Critical Parent and a suppressed Child. This antagonism was established in the kind of childhood that gives rise to the Inverted Parent - the child who takes on too much responsibility for parent roles while still in childhood.
The small child living in a disrupted family can develop the pattern of the inverted parent of ‘Super Responsible.’ It is a common outcome of parents fighting or parents drunk and disorderly or other parent failures to provide a secure home for the child.
The person who has experienced family disruption - and there are many forms of this - may intuitively take on the role of trying to fix or stabilize the family system. As they step into this role the mechanism for suppressing the inner Child is set up so they can focus on the task. Suppressing the Child translates as depression. If the Child breaks out of the suppression we have the free child which is the manic state. When the free child returns to submission, to the inner forces of suppression, we have the return of depression state.
By taking on the role of one who rescues the family from chaos, the child may be taking on a life mission to save people. To be the rescuer. For example, this manifests as the codependent to the alcoholic who tries to rescue him from the problems of his life.
In this model the bipolars will live with an Inner judge - an overwhelming amount of self-criticism. This Critical Parent rejects childish behaviour of the inner child. It is critical of spontaneity, playfulness, relaxing and humour.
Because the Inner Parent rejects their Inner Child and playfulness, many people will find them too serious. Also when they are young children they may seem like little adults.
This personality is great a taking responsibility and lacks boundaries around responsibility. Therefore, they tend to do too much and do other people’s jobs. Unconsciously they may signal to others ‘you can’t be trusted to do your part.’
There are many things done by psychotherapists to help shift such patterns. In my model of bipolar, a shift out the this personality distortion would go a long ways to relieve the ‘mood disorder.’ One goal is to moderate the critical voice of the inner judge. Another goal is to free up the inner child. One must learn it is okay to do self-care.
For self-help measures the person can stop or pull back from being ‘Caretaker of the World’ and set some boundaries on always being there to help others. If married to an alcoholic then AlAnon will help with some boundaries.
The other self-help measure is to provide fun, recreation, play, creativity and art to the creative inner child. Make of list of things you can do each week to improve self-care.
Can you describe the development of the bipolar disorder through an example from the real society?
Stage one of the developing bipolar is a family where parents often create some kind of disorder, chaos, disturbance of the world of the child. One example is an alcoholic parent who drinks and then acts poorly, immaturely or abusively or is just absent.
Stage two the child begins to step up to the plate to provide order, be responsible and just do as much as a child can do tp keep the family place safe and secure. The child could be a peacemaker mediator or mother’s little helper.
Stage three during the ages of 6 to 12 the child acts so much like an adult that most people are very impressed.
Teenage years some of the peer group notice the person is too serious.
In work situations this person has boundary issues and tends to do more than is required. They may actually mess up a job by not being a team player and taking on too much work.
In family, church and community this person is a pillar of strength. They are their for others.
In love relationships they may always be rescuing their spouse.
The depression is the result of their intense inner worrier, inner judge who is always criticizing them. Their inner child is under a constant barrage of this negativity. Normal joys of life are not accessed. It is like the inner child is being held a prisoner in a prisoner of war camp.
The Manic Phase. The only hope is if the inner child can escape and find freedom from this torment. So escape it does. The inner child gets free of this oppressive inner parent and has some freedom to express herself (or himself). The life juices flow and we have an time of escape. For some this time of escape is so energized that they get no sleep. For some the thinking is so unrealistic that real damage is done. This is the manic period.
But one cannot stay in this energized, creative joy-filled life for long. Soon it is time to return to prison and suffer the punishment for this escape. Depression is back. And so it goes.
Stage one of the developing bipolar is a family where parents often create some kind of disorder, chaos, disturbance of the world of the child. One example is an alcoholic parent who drinks and then acts poorly, immaturely or abusively or is just absent.
Stage two the child begins to step up to the plate to provide order, be responsible and just do as much as a child can do tp keep the family place safe and secure. The child could be a peacemaker mediator or mother’s little helper.
Stage three during the ages of 6 to 12 the child acts so much like an adult that most people are very impressed.
Teenage years some of the peer group notice the person is too serious.
In work situations this person has boundary issues and tends to do more than is required. They may actually mess up a job by not being a team player and taking on too much work.
In family, church and community this person is a pillar of strength. They are their for others.
In love relationships they may always be rescuing their spouse.
The depression is the result of their intense inner worrier, inner judge who is always criticizing them. Their inner child is under a constant barrage of this negativity. Normal joys of life are not accessed. It is like the inner child is being held a prisoner in a prisoner of war camp.
The Manic Phase. The only hope is if the inner child can escape and find freedom from this torment. So escape it does. The inner child gets free of this oppressive inner parent and has some freedom to express herself (or himself). The life juices flow and we have an time of escape. For some this time of escape is so energized that they get no sleep. For some the thinking is so unrealistic that real damage is done. This is the manic period.
But one cannot stay in this energized, creative joy-filled life for long. Soon it is time to return to prison and suffer the punishment for this escape. Depression is back. And so it goes.
Is there a difference between depression and manic depression?
I suspect depression, either mild or severe, is always present with the bipolar or manic depression personality. Their depression is interrupted by the manic episodes which are an extreme opposite of depression.
In the manic episode all the energy and control of the person is channeled through the Inner Child. This over-energized child is now free from control of the tyrannical Inner Parent. The one I call the Inner Judge.
The person enjoys the manic period. When it is over - which is when the Inner Judge takes over and suppresses the Inner Child. That final state is the depression.
I suspect depression, either mild or severe, is always present with the bipolar or manic depression personality. Their depression is interrupted by the manic episodes which are an extreme opposite of depression.
In the manic episode all the energy and control of the person is channeled through the Inner Child. This over-energized child is now free from control of the tyrannical Inner Parent. The one I call the Inner Judge.
The person enjoys the manic period. When it is over - which is when the Inner Judge takes over and suppresses the Inner Child. That final state is the depression.